Samuel W. rated 476d ago

Solento Organic Tequila Blanco

93 SCORE

“What generally pleasant beast slouches towards my gaping gullet? Why, it’s the supple, spicy and fragrant Solento Blanco - a liquid that I, mere moments ago, had never heard of, and to which I have now decided to dedicate the fiercest coursings of my essence. This is really the first banger I’ve mentioned in a hot minute - largely because I forgot my password to this app and now live in a godforsaken wasteland where the best tequila around is Casamigos. Very soft and sweet with relatively little pepper, as I prefer, and also very little heat. Honey, dulce de leche, kumquat, buttermilk, orange. This one is quite spectacular. I’ll have to recommend it to Connor so he can pawn his last can of Fancy Feast to keep the entire legacy lineup in a storage unit. ”

Samuel W. rated 1152d ago

JAJA Tequila Reposado

78 SCORE

“So this is admittedly better than a player thought. But it still has the vaguely overdone and slightly behind-the-moment feeling that fuckjerru provides. It’s ok - but ever so slightly underwhelming.”

Samuel W. rated 1181d ago

818 Tequila Blanco

62 SCORE

“This is some bomb-ass piss! Best piss I’ve ever tasted - and that’s saying something. However, unsurprisingly, considered as a tequila, it’s the spirit equivalent of a Kardashian’s chin: blatantly fake and betraying a painful lack of understanding of what it’s even supposed to resemble. On the bright side, it’s obvious that Kendall had the final word on the flavour, because no tequila aficionado would ever have signed off on this. ”

Samuel W. rated 1366d ago

Yeyo Blanco

89 SCORE

“Big gibbles! Is it the tequila? Or is it the insanely large spout on the weirdly un-Mexican-looking bottle? Only time will tell. But this is the best new spirit I’ve had in some time. ”

Samuel W. rated 1376d ago

Wild Common Tequila Blanco

83 SCORE

“Soft. Nuanced. Profound. Textured. These are the words that best describe Dentyne’s last excursion into flavoured mouthwash: my favourite way to end an expensive Lebanese nibble. However, the calculated observer will find a strange parallel in this description to the latest product of the fine young entities at Wild Common: their Pulitzer-winning tequila Blanco. Has ever such a subtle and handsome product before graces the shelves of our humble liquor merchants? The answer is, obviously, yes. But not, I dare say, in such an unapologetically cylindrical vessel. And not with a label so reminiscent of a trailer for a B western movie. To sum; this is a nice spirit. But is it bringing anything substantially new to the table? I’m too wasted to be sure. Perhaps Beau or Victoria can weigh in. ”

Samuel W. rated 1439d ago

Teremana Tequila Reposado

76 SCORE

“Better than I expected - bear in mind though: I’ve been smoking all night. Soft, cinnamon, toffee, agave - but all kind of flat. No that many bright notes and nothing really striking. But then, how much can The Rock really claim to drink?”

Samuel W. rated 1494d ago

San Matias Tahona Blanco

89 SCORE

“Smooth. Soft. Supple. Sensational. Funky. Fresh. Forbidden. These are the words that are written above the door to the Chuck E Cheese by my house. Dare I enter? Or do I need a hit of peppery, citrusy liquid courage first? Whatever the answer may be, I’m probably four or five shots deep in my favourite expression of the San Matias lineup: the Blanco. The Blanco starts off inauspiciously: twinges of agave and a dippity-dappling of salt water toffee. Then things get obscene with a rustle of white pepper and blast of lemon oil. And then, all of a sudden, a vast, cavernous silence, filled only with the aching lust for another sip. This isn’t a spirit for beginners. Guzzle responsibly. ”

Samuel W. rated 1497d ago

Fuenteseca Cosecha 2018 - "Las Antenas"

87 SCORE

“This is delicious *but* SOMEONE (not mentioning any names) left it in a metal flask for two days so I feel like I’m not getting the full experience. Still nice stuff - clearly a low-pressure autoclave, bright, nice, subdued-pepper finish. ”

Samuel W. rated 1531d ago

Mijenta Tequila Blanco

83 SCORE

“I’m surprised by how much I like this. Bright, citrusy, peppery and light. The bottle is slightly more than I’d want to throw into cocktails, but I think this would be great in a margarita or a tequila Manhattan. Delicious. ”

Samuel W. rated 1533d ago

Cimarron Reposado

74 SCORE

“This rides that fine like between quite nice and ever-so-slightly fake tasting. But is it? Or am I simply overcome with cynicism? Have I become a husk of my former self? Are the falsehoods and fugazis of world the only real things left to me? Do I live with in an echo chamber of my own fears, insecurities and hypocrisies? No, I think this is just kind of fake. But I still like it. In fact, the deceitfulness of the flavouring is, in a way, it’s own kind of truth: a truth about the imprecise moral compass that guides the Mexican spirit industry and perhaps exposes the inner contradictions in our own privileged obsession with ‘authenticity.’ More to come on my review of Cimarron: Hints of a Penis. ”

Samuel W. rated 1538d ago

Ocho Tequila Plata

92 SCORE

“This Is a really great tequila. Smoother than a mole rat’s lower back. Softer than a punch from George Foreman (nowadays). Better nose than an elephant. However, that it’s not available from the drop down menu is a stain on the reputation of this fine app from which I doubt I’ll ever be able to forget. ”

Samuel W. rated 1538d ago

El Tequileño "Sassenach Select" Reposado

87 SCORE

“Gibbles Mcgorbbles! This is one sumptuous lump! Delicious. El chocolat. La toca de pistachiano. El agave. A feast for the suck. I wish I could down a bottle right now and get in a folding chair fight. ”

Samuel W. rated 1542d ago

Ocho Tequila Plata

92 SCORE

“This Is a really great tequila. Smoother than a mole rat’s lower back. Softer than a punch from George Foreman (nowadays). Better nose than an elephant. However, that it’s not available from the drop down menu is a stain on the reputation of this fine app from which I doubt I’ll ever be able to forget. ”

Samuel W. rated 1545d ago

Ocho Tequila Plata

92 SCORE

“This Is a really great tequila. Smoother than a mole rat’s lower back. Softer than a punch from George Foreman (nowadays). Better nose than an elephant. However, that it’s not available from the drop down menu is a stain on the reputation of this fine app from which I doubt I’ll ever be able to forget. ”

Samuel W. rated 1546d ago

Siembra Valles High Proof Blanco

86 SCORE

“The aroma is perfect. Lucid, light, all agave - almost reminds me of a clear pool of water. The liquid is delish, although very slightly pepperier than I like. Hot and slightly muddy - in all honestly, clearly a well-made spirit, but not my exact taste.”

Samuel W. rated 1547d ago

Ocho Tequila Plata

92 SCORE

“This Is a really great tequila. Smoother than a mole rat’s lower back. Softer than a punch from George Foreman (nowadays). Better nose than an elephant. However, that it’s not available from the drop down menu is a stain on the reputation of this fine app from which I doubt I’ll ever be able to forget. ”

Samuel W. rated 1550d ago

Ocho Tequila Plata

92 SCORE

“This Is a really great tequila. Smoother than a mole rat’s lower back. Softer than a punch from George Foreman (nowadays). Better nose than an elephant. However, that it’s not available from the drop down menu is a stain on the reputation of this fine app from which I doubt I’ll ever be able to forget. ”

Samuel W. rated 1552d ago

Ocho Tequila Plata

92 SCORE

“This Is a really great tequila. Smoother than a mole rat’s lower back. Softer than a punch from George Foreman (nowadays). Better nose than an elephant. However, that it’s not available from the drop down menu is a stain on the reputation of this fine app from which I doubt I’ll ever be able to forget. ”

Samuel W. rated 1553d ago

Ocho Tequila Plata

92 SCORE

“This Is a really great tequila. Smoother than a mole rat’s lower back. Softer than a punch from George Foreman (nowadays). Better nose than an elephant. However, that it’s not available from the drop down menu is a stain on the reputation of this fine app from which I doubt I’ll ever be able to forget. ”

Samuel W. rated 1554d ago

Ocho Tequila Plata

92 SCORE

“This Is a really great tequila. Smoother than a mole rat’s lower back. Softer than a punch from George Foreman (nowadays). Better nose than an elephant. However, that it’s not available from the drop down menu is a stain on the reputation of this fine app from which I doubt I’ll ever be able to forget. ”

Samuel W. rated 1558d ago

Teremana Tequila Blanco

63 SCORE

“Not great, Dwayne! For a man who’s as jacked as the Rock is, this tequila is exactly as good as I anticipated. Why would someone who couldn’t possibly drink more than once a month know a goddamn thing about spirits? It’s plastic-y, full of fake tasting notes, and gay. It’s not awful, but I wouldn’t put in the work or the hours. ”

Samuel W. rated 1567d ago

Tapatio Blanco 110

89 SCORE

“I’m finding this slightly tricky to characterize - herbaceous and slightly earthy. And yet it’s got a smack of ham to it! Nice finish. ”

Samuel W. rated 1567d ago

Arette Fuerte 101 Blanco

87 SCORE

“She’s one zippy bing-bongster! On the nose (or nuestra - salud!) a delicate lump of saltwater taffy, sous vide agave and a dappling of marshmallow. On the palate, cinnamon, very light peppery spice and a touch of salt. Really nice lingering finish where the pepper really comes out. Gwarsh, Hermano!”